Women Who Abandon Motherhood Marriage and Leave Your Children Behind

Lylah M. Alphonse
Shine Staff

Mar 3, 2011

Rahna Reiko Rizzuto, author of "Hiroshima in the Morning." (Photo: Goodreads.com)

Rahna Reiko Rizzuto, author of "Hiroshima in the Morning." (Photo: Goodreads.com)

This woman is the poster child of 1970’s feminism.  Burn your bra, Motherhood, Marriage and raising children at home slavery and bondage.  While this woman wants to glorify her “Choice” the public’s view on her selfish self centered and self aggrandizing behavior has soured since feminisms heyday.  

Rahna Reiko Rizzuto says that she never wanted to be a mother (Or wife). 


Unfortunately we are long on experience with the poisonous attitudes espoused by Ms Rizzuto.  In 1981 when we married in bible school to our consternation many of these things were hidden and buried in our former wife.  It was only after the knot was tied step by step and level by level as She began to manifest these things leaving us completely mystified as to how a “Born-Again Spirit–Filled Believer could act up and act out in such angry, and at times vicious and nasty ways?


At the time we had never seen of nor heard of such things and when we would speak of her behavior to older believers and people in the ministry we were treated as if we were grossly exaggerating things or making incidents up. 


Beginning around the year 2000 things began to change in the church as a number of women that had been raised and or were influenced by 1970’s feminists and by feminists embedded in the education system.  Once these women grew up and got married and had children suddenly in all quarters the church began to have a crisis in their young married couples – leading to the divorce crisis that continues to this day.  


We have spoken before about those women, who by design become broken household single mother families, as well as focusing on their evil fruits instilled in their children, and in the churches they fill.


Here we are speaking of a more cruel and heartless being than these feminized house breaking women.  One that has no love or feelings for the children they bore. One that puts the sword to their household and marriage as well as casts their children off as if they are of no value.  These do not do it because of abject poverty.  These do so for personal gain, social gain, or profession gain.  The evil fruits thereof we had been made to taste of three decades ago.  


In the purposes of God we suffered many things in those days so that we might be able to speak to the divorce and broken household crisis that has since befallen the church.

2 Corinthians 4:11-12 For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you.


Yes, we have in more recent days by the purposes of God have been made to suffer sickness and great infirmity unto entering into great physical and at times mental weakness, and being made a partaker of being handicapped. This being the path and the school God has chosen for us we rejoice and abound in Christ even here.  Out of which we are able to share the riches and life of Jesus Christ with you.          

"I had this idea that motherhood was this really all-encompassing thing," she explained on the Today Show, where she was talking about her new memoir, "Hiroshima in the Morning."
"I was afraid of being swallowed up by that."  Translate this as: She was afraid she would be trapped into being a housewife for the rest of her life. Many feminized women today feel this same way, so they do not marry at all.  Here though you have a woman that gets married and has two children and then has an epiphany that she does NOT want to be a wife, mother or parent.

Ten years ago, when her sons were 5 and 3, Rizzuto received a fellowship to spend six months in Japan, researching a book about the survivors of Hiroshima.
Four months in, when her children came to visit, she had an epiphany: She didn't want to be a full-time mother anymore. When she returned to New York, she ended her 20-year marriage and chose not to be her kids' custodial parent.

Now, Rizzuto is an author and a faculty member at Goddard College in Vermont, where she teaches in creative writing.
(Today as a failed writer – [As she can not earn a living doing exactly what she abandoned everything to go and do] she remain unrepentant and unapologetic to her former husband and former children) Her boys are teenagers—and, she says, they're fine. (This is a very passive, removed remark) In fact, their relationship not only survived her leaving, but "has improved." (This also is a very passive removed remark demonstrating her heart is a stone cold as it was a decade later. )

"I had to leave my children to find them," she writes in an essay at Salon.com. "In my part-time motherhood, I get concentrated blocks of time when I can be that 1950s mother we idealize who was waiting in an apron with fresh cookies when we got off the school bus and wasn't too busy for anything we needed until we went to bed. I go to every parent-teacher conference; I am there for performances and baseball games."

But when that
1950s mother (Delusional -- ) she describes as ideal had to cope with parenthood 24/7, she didn't get to pick and choose which parts to be present for. The idea that a mother could love her children and still choose to leave them to pursue her own goals is the antithesis of being a 'Tiger Mother'—Amy Chua ignited a fiery debate with the release of her book about being a perfection-demanding Eastern-style parent, omnipresent in her daughters' lives. It also goes against our culture's definition of motherhood. But it shines a light on a glaring double standard: When a man chooses not to be a full-time parent, it's acceptable—or, at least, accepted. But when a woman decides to do so, it's abandonment. (Consider that the husband is cast out of the house, and that judges routinely give custody to wives no matter how unfit they might be. This is why this is rightly viewed as abandonment.)

The decision isn't an easy one to make, no matter how you feel about parenting. "‪It took me about a year to decide once the idea came to me," says Talyaa Liera. In 2008,
she chose to move 3,000 miles away from three of her four children (her oldest is an adult and out on her own).‪ "At the time I was a heavily involved, attachment-parenting Waldorf mom. I did the whole family bed, breastfeeding-into-toddlerhood, baby-wearing thing. I was at home with them for 10 years before their father and I split up, and stayed at home after that, trying to create a writing career to support myself."

‪After a lengthy custody battle and two years of joint custody, she realized that her ex-husband (a pilot with an erratic schedule) wasn't going to change, and her situation wasn't going to change, unless she decided to change things for herself. "I realized that by being so nurturing, I was in some ways keeping my children from growing to their potential," she says (This is 180 degrees from what she previously stated concerning her “Epiphany” and . "We talked about it for months and we prepared together, not really knowing what being 3,000 miles apart might look like or feel like."

When the time came to get in her packed car and drive away, she says, she felt "‪very mixed."

‪"Yes, there is a sense of relief. I would be remiss if I did not admit that," she says candidly. But there was also pain: "I used to avoid Target, for instance, because it made me think of shopping for my daughter Serena.
Little moments like that, and everything comes flooding in."

Now a spiritual adviser who writes at Polaris Rising, Liera wrote about her experiences as a non-custodial parent at Literary Mama and Parenting Without a Manual. Her children are 15, 11, and 7 now and, after more than two years of long-distance parenting, Liera says she misses them but feels very connected to them. "‪Now we stay in touch by phone, IM, Skype a few times a week," she says. "I hear about their lives and give support." (
All of this is utter fantasy on the part of this woman.  3,000 mile parenting??? As a writer she has a way of dressing up this corpse, making it sound O so normal, and O so mainstream.)

‪"I have been a mother since I was 20," she points out. "I did not have the life a normal 20 year old would have. While I don't regret that, I knew that I now have the opportunity to reconnect with who I might have been then, but with all the tools and skill sets I have learned through motherhood. I have the unique opportunity most women don't get to have, of being able to truly create the life I wish to have, do something in the world that makes a difference, and model this kind of independence for my children."

After Amy Chua's story went viral, many women said they felt they needed to adopt a bit of the tiger mom mentality, that maybe they were a little to lenient with their kids. In any case, it's evident that there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to motherhood. But does striking out on your own or being a "Hiroshima Mom" take free-range parenting to an extreme?

"This is the question people will ask me. The question that curls, now, in the dark of the night," Rizzuto writes in "Hiroshima in the Morning." "How do any of us decide to leave the people we love?"