Vicar Can No Longer Believe in God

Daughter was murdered in London 7/7 terror attack; Faith is battered
The Sun (U.K.) ^ | March 7, 2006 | JOHN COLES

Posted on 03/07/2006 12:06:20 PM PST

By JOHN COLES

 A VICAR whose daughter was killed in the 7/7 bombings has quit (the ministry) as she cannot forgive the Islamic terrorists who carried out the attacks.

The Rev Julie Nicholson has been unable to return to the pulpit since her 24-year-old daughter Jenny died on the Circle Line Tube train blown up at Edgware Road in London.

Now the 52-year-old has given up her post in the parish of St Aidan with St George, Bristol, because she cannot balance her faith with her feelings towards the bombers.

She says: “I rage that a human being could choose to take another human’s life. I rage that someone should do this is the name of a God. I am hugely offended that someone should take my daughter in the name of a religion or a God.

“I certainly don’t have any sense of compassion.

“Can I forgive them for what they did? No I cannot. And I don’t wish to.
While I can understand her feelings of loss – my father died when I was 10 and we had at least a half a dozen deaths in our family during my teenage years.  And I can understand he feelings of her child being wrongfully taken from her – I will not elaborate on that.  What screams out in this is that here we have a nominal preacher, one who never came to a personal knowledge of Christ, one who though she preached hundreds of sermons – had not the slightest idea of what is written in the bible regarding loving and fearing God above men – and that this minister never walked a day in the footsteps of Christ nor intended to do so. Some might deem me cruel in saying this. When the Russians arrested and tortured Christians and Jews for their faith who cried out on their behalf? Who sent aid and comfort to their families? When the Communist Chinese arrested and tortured Christians and Jews alike for their faith, I ask again who cried out on their behalf? Who sent aid and comfort to their families? And in the past thirty years in the rise of radical Islam who cries out for Israel, who cries out for the Christians across northern Africa, Asia southern Asia and eastern Asia that are arrested tortured and slain all the day long. Who among these churches in Europe and Asia care the slightest bit for any of their brethren.
Therefore because their heart is lifted up and haughty and they say I their hearts this shall never come upon me even so shall this overwhelming scourge come upon one and all.  And even as thy sister in Europe hath played the harlot and she shall be laid bare in her harlotries and utterly consumed so to the church in Americas needs to consider her sisters ways and repent lest a worse thing come upon thee as well.  For when judgment comes upon thy sister I shall indeed plumb the words of thy mouth and the iniquity of your hearts.

Consider my words to Jeremiah: If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? and if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how wilt thou do in the swelling of Jordan?

 “I say the name of my daughter’s murderer every day.

“I believe there are some things in life which are unforgiveable by the human spirit.”

She continues: “All my understanding of what it means to be a priest is peace, reconciliation and forgiveness.

“It is very difficult for me to stand behind an altar and celebrate the Eucharist, Communion and lead people in words of peace and reconciliation and forgiveness when I feel very far from that myself.

“I will leave potential forgiveness for whatever is after this life. I will leave that in God’s hands.”

Bishop of Bristol Mike Hill, a personal friend of Julie, says he understands how her faith has been tested.

He adds: “These situations in life shake the faith of everybody because they immediately bring into focus the ‘why’ question. Unfortunately, there is no simple Elastoplast answer to that question.”

Jenny was killed by suicide bomber Mohammed Sidique Khan, 30, as she made her way to work at a music publishing company.

Her last known phone call was to her dad Gregg from Paddington station minutes before the bombing.

The gifted singer and pianist had recently moved to Reading, Berks, with her boyfriend James White after completing a masters degree in music at Bristol University. Her mother and father, who works for BAE Systems, were on holiday in Anglesey, North Wales, at the time of the outrage.

Julie was too distraught to speak at her daughter’s funeral at Bristol Cathedral in August but the Right Reverend Hill made her anger clear.

He told the 1,000 mourners: “There are few human words that can adequately express what we feel about people who indiscriminately carry out apparent acts of senseless violence against innocent civilian populations and, unbelievably, do so in the name of God.

“Such delusion, such evil is impossible for us to begin to comprehend.” 
Surely this is but a few rain drops before the storm – And this gives us a window of what will occur in the nominal church when the great tribulation shall come.  As Christ and the Apostles did not fly away anywhere prior to the terrorist acts that where wroght upon them so this preacher’s daughter did not fly away anywhere prior to this terrorist act, and so no one in the church shall fly away either when this storm comes in earnest to a complacent church that believes in nothing and knows not the Lord – this is an awful and horrible thing – it is nothing to rejoice over as is some arrogant believers custom. God does not rejoice in the death of the righteous, God does not rejoice in the death of the wicked either.  The end of all the corruption of this world is upon us and whosoever of their own freewill will forsake and walk away from the riches of this world, the lusts and fame there of whosoever will walk from houses lands husbands wives children and relatives to follow the Lord shall be found of him.  And their righteousness shall be the salvation of not only them but their households as well.   

Isaiah 58:6-8 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.