Dream: What Desirest Thou of Me

1/25/08

This afternoon I had a dream in which Christ spoke to me. He told me that He would grant me one wish, He would grant me one request and in the dream I answered the Lord and I began to say I desire to have my health back, but then in the dream I stopped myself, and said I would have to think about it before I could make so great a request that Christ would grant me. And in the dream I thought about my poor health for the last three years and the coming back surgeries that are still needed, I thought about my poverty all my life and what it would mean to be wealthy, I though about what it would mean to have an anointed powerful ministry. And then I woke up still pondering these things.

After about 30 minutes I came to realize I could ask Jesus for anything, – why that could include a faithful submissive wife. And as I continued to ponder my being granted one request of the Lord, I began to realize that Lord had so engineered my life as to ask me this question.

My being terribly sick for three and a half years, My being poor and living in Alaska with no certain future, effectively having been severed from my brethren,  my having been left  with no tangible ministry and no sign of it finally coming forth anything in the future,  My being betrayed and divorced by my x-wife, my family hopelessly split in two, My being alone and lonely with no wife to comfort me. And I saw that it was within this context the Lord had now come in a dream to ask me; what was my request, what was my desire that He might give it unto me.

In my heart I felt that I was being asked; What would I accept under these circumstances, to effectively be bought off? (Yes, those words really entered my thoughts over and over during the hour that I pondered these meaning of what Christ had asked me.) Would it be the restoration of my health and wishing for a long life? Would it be earthly wealth and riches, as thoughts of all the good I could do crept into my mind if I had lots of money? Would it be a powerful ministry that I could be exalted in the eyes of men, with great demonstration and power? Would it be to seek care for my deepest aches and longings that I might br ravished by a loving submissive wife?  What would I ask Jesus for? (I actually felt a great pressure to make my request for one of those things or something of that order.)    

I also then became mindful that in many an article I have expressed my choices and desires I have expressed to the Lord, but never has Christ in a dream ever come to me, and asked of me; what do you desire most? What is your one wish; tell me that I may grant it to thee,

It is one thing to say theoretically I would choose this or that when all is well with your soul, but it takes on a completely different meaning when your soul is on fire and you are filled with want and need. (So that in the timing of Christ coming, I discerned the finger of God, that this was a test, that this was far greater than even what I would or could asked for, it was a statement, a testimony as to where my heart lied.)

As I continued to reflect and meditate on these words of Christ, taking the dream absolutely seriously, not as some delusional dream -- God speaking to Solomon came to mind, where he told the young lad to ask of him a request, and I marveled.

Then David’s words came to mind; One thing have I desired of the Lord . . .

After all these things began to pray and talk to Jesus and the Father. Entering into His presence I spoke and said my single request is this; that I might manifestly know You as You manifestly knew the Father, and that I might know the Father as You manifestly knew the Father and that I might know the Holy Spirit as You manifestly knew the Holy Spirit and that You the Father and the Holy Spirit might come to abide in me as You so prayed.

I prayed this and felt peace and small tears in the corners of my eyes. Jesus Christ has been and yet remains my pearl of great price. He is my everything and my all, He is my greatest hearts desire and yearning. How could I ask for anything less? For all the things of this world and the pleasures of this world are but for a fleeting moment.

One thing have I desired of the Lord and that will I seek after.

 

Amen and Amen,