Down is Up, Unfair is Fair and Ignorance is Bliss

by Victoria Jackson  (Former Saturday Night Live Commediane Becomes Conservative)

I woke up in the middle of the night and realized the trick.

You see, evil doesn’t just show up.  It disguises itself as something nice; so you’ll let it in.  It tricks you.

Murdering babies is called Pro-Choice.  Unfair Censorship is called The Fairness Doctrine.  Outlandish Taxes and the Death of Freedom is called Cap & Trade.  Sounds like Fish & Chips.  You gotta figure out the trick.

I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing.  It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people.  If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision, like us stupid church go-ers do. Biden gave $ 62 to charity last year.

No, there’s gotta be a catch.  I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m.  I had the answer.


Social Security and Medicare are broke.  Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it.  Socialized medicine makes people die. You stand in a long, long line with a breast lump, clogged artery, or sharp pencil stuck in your eye, and someone like the DMV person, who can’t speak English, has chewing gum, an attitiude, really long fake nails that curl up at the end,  and is talking on a cell phone, enjoying their power trip moment, is finally face to face with you.  They mumble something incoherent about paperwork. You die. One less person in line for Social Security and Medicare!

Obama legally kills babies and now he can legally kill Grandmas!

Hitler did this.  He killed the weak, the sick, the old, and babies and races/religions he didn’t like.  Hitler also controlled the media.  (Where’s the public debate between scientists on “Climate Change/Global Warming?”)   Hitler had the VW bug invented as the state car. What will O’s nationalized car be? So… kill off the weak.  That’s the plan.  Tax the workers to death.  Erase the middle class.  Sounds like the evil governments we studied in high school long ago.  The evil governments were :  kings, oligarchies, facist, socialist, and communist.  Now it’s called the Obama Administration. Sounds like candy or a rock band.

I was browsing in a Burbank gift shop yesterday and I asked the store owner how business was doing.  She smiled, “Well, you know, hit and miss.  I’m sure it will be better soon.”  The store was empty.

I apologized for not buying anything.  “I’m sorry, but my husband now cringes when I order a Hazelnut Iced Coffee at McDonald’s, so I can’t really buy anything.”

Her smile hardened.

“You know, I’ve been speaking at Tea Parties lately.  No one seems to know or care that our country just turned Socialist.”

She stared at me like a deer caught in head lights.

I continued, “I don’t like politics, but we have to do something.  I’m writing to my Congressmen and Senators now.”

Her teenage assistants with no customers had frozen smiles and frozen bodies.

“Did you know Obama uses our tax payer dollars to pay for abortions?”

She shook her head no.

“He even supports killing 9 month old babies, in the womb.”

She became a ceramic knick knack.

I continued, “It’s called ‘late-term abortion’.  Now he’s going to kill sick people and old people.  Did you know that Cap & Trade will allow the government to regulate how long we take a shower?  And that the “New Health Plan”, happy, happy, will allow the government to decide who lives and who dies?”

Crickets.  Dead crickets.

As I opened the door to leave, she shook herself into reality and said, “Thank you and come again.”

The bell jingled as the door shut.

I got into my fuel efficient economy car, with the leopard seat covers, and the bumper that used to have the “I RESIST SOCIALISM” bumper sticker, until it got smashed, and I drove away thinking, “Ignorance is Bliss.”